This article is rated R, meaning it contains content that may be inappropriate for readers under the age of 17.
Crash Potatoes is a 37 minute television special tied in to Finn Army: Finn's Spooky Stories. Unlike FAFSS, there is only Doctor Roberto is featured (though some of Finlay's dialogue is used) and there is a plot (a well written one at that), although everything is pointless after minutes 16-23, but returns to normal.
The story starts with a flashback wherein Doctor Kurt and Dr. Nik receive a visit from their mother. Kurt reveals that he is Nik's twin brother. This is the main plot point.
Many months later, Kurt goes to Nik's castle for... something. He insults Nik's quest to capture (and destroy) Flash Bang, but Kurt proposes an alliance. Nik accepts, and Jonah joins in as well. The news anchor from Finn Army reports that these three criminals are committing "suicides." Kurt lures Crash Potatoes into a bear trap, but Gideon Kurt f**is it up, sending Nik, himself, the great Triborio, and Jonah plummeting. Dingo Flamingo then leaves with a strange monster (a combination of the Monarch, Fipper Foo, and Overlord) to get a pizza.
Meanwhile, Doctor Roberto tracks down Jonah in an attempt to reclaim one million dollars, which Jonah Head stole in a previous episode.
After a commercial break, Oriobirt and Crash Potatoes visit Shigeru who is watching a sex tape made by Crash Potatoes and Kurt. Oriobirt tells Shigeru to f**k off and uses a telescope to see what the villains are up to.
Kurt, Nik, Triborio, and Jonah are visited by the Mighty Awesome Idiots who, using psychokinesis, take out Kurt's heart and hand it to him. Before Kurt can run away screaming, however, they realized they have just murdered him (he got better though).
At Domino's, Dingo Flamingo wants his pizza and threatens to "shove them quartz right up [his own] dingo," whatever that means.
It seems that the Mighty Awesome Idiots join forces with Kurt, Nik, and Jonah, as they are seen helping the Minions and the penguins build Kurt and Nik's huge robot. This robot is the Dominator, but as one of the minions points out, that is a dumb name.
After a couple of musical numbers, Jonah annoys Nick by asking for something to drink. Nik teleports to that lazy bastard Crash Potatoes who is sipping on an Icee, which is not one of the sponsors by the way, but before he can get back to the base, Jonah has already gotten a "Sodair" from a vending machine with Doctor Roberto's million dollars.
Triborio then disturbs Kurt while he is playing Five Nights at Freddy's to say that he and Nik do not trust Jonah. Kurt says he is a moron.
Since the Dominator is finished on Insanity Isle, Nik, Kurt, Jonah, and Triborio board Kurt's aerostat, which crashes into his old stronghold. This crash murders dozens including a member of the Cutie Mark Crusade.
After the crash, the penguins state they will fix the air ship with "grit, spit, and a whole lotta sh*t." Crut then goes to his appointment with The Twelfth Doctor (who is working in his afterlife due to the recession).
Nik, Kurt, Jonah, and Triborio then hijack a train to get to the dominator, leading to various gags. The train runs into a destroyed bridge, but Nik summons the power of Buzz Lightyear to move the train into the repaired zeppelin.
During construction of the Dominator, Shigeru falls in love with Satoru who tells Shigeru to take a "long walk off a short pier." The crew of villain enjoy a good laugh, but Doctor Roberto is still on his journey to track down Jonah. While Kurt and Jonah are playing LittleBigPlanet, Nik ambushes Kurt and takes over the operation. Doctor Roberto reminds Brendan who says Jonah "looks tough" about his million dollars.
Tied up and suspended upside down, Kurt awakens to find Nik is attempting to replace him.
They then have a flashback to high school, which Kurt mistakenly refers to as the Academy, where Kurt scores all the women, leaving Nik with none. Nik is getting his revenge.
Crash Potatoes arrives with Oribirt where the two of them are informed that Doctor Nik has indeed taken over the operation.
Nik is assaulting Kurt, but Kurt reminds him of all the good times they had together. Nik finds he has no choice but to release Kurt because he is "too sentimental for [his] own good." Kurt then says, "Nobody calls me Kurty!" and shoots Nik who remarks, "Much too sentimental." Kurt tells Jonah to keep Crash Potatoes busy for a while.
Before Jonah can assassinate Crash Potatoes, Doctor Roberto arrives to kill Jonah who Roberto admits is "quite the fighter." Roberto then finds out that Jonah spent Roberto's million dollars on a "sodair" and cries over it. Jonah solves this by giving Roberto another dollar, but Roberto decides to forgive Jonah upon realizing this has made him one dollar richer. Unfortunately, Roberto is burned by Kurt. Kurt makes a speech, but when Oriobirt interrupts, Kurt operates the robot to kill. Triborio and the minions turn on Kurt. Jonah ambushes Kurt for murdering Doctor Roberto, causing him to drop his heat ray. Crash Potatoes grabs it and shoots at Kurt, only for it to miss. It does, however, hit an integral part of the robot, causing it to crash. Crash Potatoes and Oribirt survive, and upon seeing Nik not being able to get up from the crash, Jonah scores a big number of pwns at once.
After the credits, Kurt awakens to find he has been mounted on Jonah's wall in Crash Potatoes's mind.
This is rated TV-MA LS.
- Crash is Potatoes.