Completely Brainless Idiot City is an extremely swell and intentionally cliche city building game.
Some random bulls**t happened and now your building a city. Nothing more then that.
- Jason Rock
- Jet Guitarfish
- Great Chill
- Little Bots
- There's P**** on There
- Romo the Homo
- That Looks Like Drugs
- E.L. Wallace
- Simba Village
- Bateleur Village
- Ape Village
- Gavial Village
- Zavattariornis Village
- Canid Village
- Fruit Bat Village
- Harvestman Village
- Pachyderm Village
- Lammergeier Village
- Smilodon Village
- Byakko Village
- Mastodon Village
- Bennu Bird Village
- Cheetah Village
- Kodiak Village
- Ice Grizzly Village
- E.L. Wallace Village
Oogoo: Why is there a blue arrow on my head?
Jason Rock: Because you are not Jason Rock.
ZNAP: I am not and I have no blue arrow on my face.
Ooogoo: Who the Oogoo are you?
ZNAP: I am ZNAP, and we are supposed to make a trio.
Jason Rock: Like the Three Blind Mice?
Oogoo: Or the Three Musketeers?
ZNAP: Nope. A trio. Tree-O.
Oogoo: I wanted to be a blind mouse.
Jason Rock: Hey, what is that Pumkin doing there?
Hungry Pumkin: Give me the salt.
Salt: WHY ME!?
*Salt gives him a juice*
Hungry Pumkin: No! I don't want that!
*Pumkin violently swats it out of Salt's hand, causing it to land on a landmine*
Landmine: Landmine going off in ten seconds!
Hungry Pumkin: Oh s**t!
*Pumkin leaves by riding a giant flying mecha, while everything else gets caught in an explosion*
Oogoo: Hey! We survived that explode!
Jason Rock: I found these orange crystals in this blowup!
ZNAP: That is because you are Jason Rock! I found these green and orange antennas!
*The trio falls down from the explosion*
Objective: Do nothing for five minutes.
Oogoo: Well... we just did nothing for five minutes.
Jason Rock: Actually, we did everything for five minutes!
ZNAP: We did whatever for five minutes.
Oogoo: Now that we did epic fail for 5 minutes, now what?
Jason Rock: Build something.
Oogoo: Who the Jason Rock are you?
Jason Rock: Hey, that's my line!
Paprika: I am Paprika.
ZNAP: Lice to meet you. Now build something!
Objective: They already said it twice.
Oogoo: We built something!
Jason Rock: We built a tumor!
ZNAP: No, we built a rolling pin!
Paprika: We didn't build either, we know what we built, but we can't say it due to automated text.
Lucinda the Hinda
Lucinda: I am Lucinda the Hinda.
Ooogoo: What in the Oogoo is a Hinda?
Jason Rock: A Hinda is a Linda.
ZNAP: No, a Hinda is a Kinda.
Paprika: Lucinda! Nice to see you here!
Lucinda: Hi Paprika! Let's build a skyscraper!
Hungry Pumpkin: Give me the fries.
Objective: Build a skyscraper
Hungry Pumpkin: No, I don't want that!
*Hungry Pumkin homicidally swats the building.*
*The Skyscraper rebuilds itself.*
Uakari is Sorry
Uakari: OOH! OOH! OOH!
Oogoo: What in the flying Oogoo?
Jason Rock: It is Uakari!
ZNAP: Legend says there are only 21,212,121 in the world!
Paprika: That is
not a lot! Catch it!
Lucinda: Yeah! It is basically like Pokémon but more like Nomekop.
Objective: Use one of your 21 Wee Metallic Bouncy Balls to catch Uakari.*
Uakari: Ooh... ooh *sigh* ooh.
*Uakari is freed and joins the city, then eats some chicken pot roast and Malabar gourd.*
Marshflame: Marshflame! Marshflame! Marshflame! I can only say my name and this!
Oogoo: A Marshflame! They only have 666,666 of those in the world!
Jason Rock: We should catch it! But your teeny iron balls are not enough!
ZNAP: Build a Fire House! And make it ZNAP-y!
Paprika: Haha! Haha! Haha! Haha! Haha! Haha!
Lucinda: LOL! LOL! LOL! XDDDDDDDDDDDD!
Objective: Catch Marshflame using the Firefighters.*
Marshflame: Marshflame got fire put out! I can say that, too! And this!
Taking Inventory is What all First Achievements are Called
Oogoo: Alright, let's start by having the god at least look like a king.
Jason Rock: Yeah!
ZNAP: 1-2 ZNAP!
Objective: Open your utility belt and equip the regal outfit and diadem.
Paprika: Good, you look like a proper warrior! Now, let's build your outpost.
Lucinda: Yeah! Look out for the agitators and individualists, though!
Oogoo: Before I teach you about building, you need to secure the area.
Jason Rock: Augite! Go to the woods and KILL any remaining GAVIALS.
ZNAP: It will be easy as a ZNAP!
Objective: Travel to the woodlands.
Paprika: You made it? Good. Kill all those gharials now!
Objective: Kill the crocodiles.
Lucinda: Good work!
The Short Road to Your House
Oogoo: Now, I will show you a SHORTCUT to get back to your OUTPOST.
Jason Rock: Yeah, I gotta take a sh*t.
ZNAP: What can I say, sh*t ZNAPens!
Objective: Return to your outpost.
Paprika: Welcome back, Seaman!
Lucinda: Now, let's get started on your outpost!
Oogoo: First, you need a HOME. Homes generate MONEY, and money can be used to BUILD stuff - that is economics!
Jason Rock: A good leader is brave about getting his hands unsanitary. CLEAR away these PLANTS and STONES. Although that means you are killing members of my species, I do not give two sh*ts.
Objective: Destroy five objects.
ZNAP: Well, you are not terrible at it! Now, you have a lot of room to build. Also, all the cash that you collect or earn can be used to build up your outpost.
Paprika: Homes will produce the bucks you need to build your kingdom. Tap the BLOCK to build a HOME.
Objective: Build and complete your home.
Lucinda: It is the most hideous piece of sh*t ever - but as your outpost grows, you will get access to better items, buildings and powers.
Oogoo: Homes will produce moolah, even if you are not around.
Jason Rock: But you will need to COLLECT it when it is ready!
Objective: Speed up funds production.
ZNAP: ZNAP! Your greenbacks are ready to be collected.
Paprika: Damn, that was quick.
Objective: Collect loot from your home.
Lucinda: I hope you did not find that too taxing!
- Skyscraper ($360)
- Hell ($666)
- Blood Bank ($663)
- Cavern (Free)
- Igloo ($566)
- Hospital ($825)
- Oratory ($724)
- Kiosk ($675)
- Picture House ($843)
- Mall ($6,255)
- Allodium ($7,275)
- Electronics Store ($642)
- Cellar ($527)
- Power Plant ($75,268)
- Home ($873)
- Elysia ($34,353)
- Outpost ($678)
- Columbia University/King's College ($1,776)
- Aebleskiver ($37)
- Çörek ($35)
- Šišky ($59)
- Beef ($33)
- Ambrosia ($742)
- Eggs ($44)
- Apple ($53)
- Éclair ($47)
- Cake ($43)
- Lutefisk ($63)
- Candy ($38)
- Chicken Thigh ($78)
- BLT ($24)
- Zwieback ($23)
- Manioc ($86)
- Amala ($44)
- E.L.'S Lasagna ($69)
Version 0.1 February 6, 2017
We have cut the red ribbon with a pair of wire cutters and drilled in the gold spike with a drilling rig!
Version 0.2 February 7, 2017
Changed the name because of the LGBT insult.
Version 1.0 February 8, 2017
Added There's P***y on There and Romo the Homo and the first mission.
Version 1.1 February 21, 2017
Added the s'more quests, buildings, and food.
Version 1.2 February 22, 2017
Added That Looks Like Drugs.
Version 1.3 February 26, 2017
Added E.L. Wallace and related tribe, foods, and buildings, as well as Caillou.
Version 1.4 February 28, 2017
Aebleskiver is spelled with "ae", not "Æ".
Version 1.5 March 28, 2017
Pumkin joins your side!
- It was pulled from the App Store due to offensive content, but a sequel IS in development: Completely Brainless Idiot Racing.
- CBIR has since been cancelled, as well.